Sucker's Guide To Being Suckered

Idiots Abound

Browsing the web and reading ad-hoc stuff, I came across a link. A Geek's Guide To Presenting Yourself To Business People.

Yeah right.

How hard can it be? Remember first time you tried to ride a bicycle? You fell off. Remember the first time you played table-tennis (ping-pong)? It was dead easy, right?. Or first time you played 18 holes of golf? Geez that was a breeze! Or the first time you painted a portrait? So simple.

So you're a young geeky guy that does code and math and other stuff that gels with your lifestyle and interests. Now you're gonna transform yourself in 5 easy lessons into a sales and marketing executive, with years of experience behind ya and do a calm, cool, mature, professional presentation, delivered, flawlessly, with accuracy and precision.

And you're gonna do it all without rehearsal, training, or practice. But hey don't worry, you can do it. How hard can it be? Just follow the Geek's Guide To Presentation.

You can even teach-yourself an obscure ancient religion by reading a book.

How hard can doing a presentation to a panel of business sharks be?

What amazes me time after time, is the presumption placed by the author on the reader. Lay the guilt trip on him/her. If they fail, its their fault.

How many people do you know that passed their driving test after 5 Easy Lessons?

Zero is close to the truth. When you first get in that car, you have to become familiar with the car. You must feel comfortable. You must know how the car functions. Which controls produce which affects.

All this comes through practice. By driving the car. Being in the car. Using the car. Getting to know the car. Getting familiar with the car. Being one with the car.

That may apply to swimming, driving cars or riding bicycles, but don't worry about presenting to a panel of business sharks. You need no practice or preparation. Just get up and do perfect first time. Off the cuff. NOT!!!

If a young geeky reading that article, takes their advice, yeah right. Here's a gun. Go commit suicide in front of a panel of venous carnivores that want your liver.

If you really want to do a presentation, here are a few tips.

1. Prepare a script. Get the red pen out, and use it. No BS allowed.

2. Learn the script by rote. So you can recall the script even if the autocue fails.

3. Research the panel you are presenting to. Know your audience. Talk to people.

4. Get a haircut, wear a suit, be presentable. Ditch your cool image for a day.

5. Learn their language and use it. Understand what they do.

6. Beg steal or borrow a video cam and record yourself giving the presentation you commited to memory

7. Be critical. Cos if you're not, they will be.

8. Know your subject. (Not suggesting you don't)

9. Convey your subject in layman terms. (No jargon).

10. Prepare an intro. Suck the audience in. Make them want to listen to you. Anecdotes are good.

11. Prepare a body. Make the script tight and concise, to the point. Eliminate ALL verbosity.

12. Prepare a summary. Close with summary and offer.

Thats it. You're home and dry.